A Misconceived Love
by larrythestapler
Summary: “Malfoy,” Harry coldly whispered, pronouncing each syllable with an aria of lust. Lavender peeps in the boys' locker room to see Draco and Harry embracing each other passionately! Draco attempts to ask Hermione out but gets a surprising answer instead.


**A Misconceived Love**

by larrythestapler

**Rating: T**

**Category: Romance/Humor**

**Shipping: Harry/Draco**

A/N: This probably shows that I write to entertain myself, hahaha. This idea was spawned listening to "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" by Bryan Adams. Probably one of the silliest fanfics that ever slipped through my fingers, but I do like the less forced writing. PS: I made a few Twilight references in here, which I claim no ownership to.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. JKR does._

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Lavender saw it all.

And it made her heart sing.

Frosted by the cold powdery snow, Lavender peeped at the boys' locker room and saw something that completely changed the purpose of her life.

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter were both naked from the torso and up, with only mere Hogwarts towels covering their lower abdomen. And they were embracing each other passionately (in her eyes). No one but her saw it: Their secret love.

Lavender held an Extendable Ear out, which she had bought at the Weasleys' new store at a special discount. The pinkish string extended quite weakly, but she heard what she needed to hear. A grin crossed her face when she began to hear murmurs, then sharper voices. She cleared the fog from the cloudy window. She came with the hope of peeping at forbidden meat, or what she called young handsome Quidditch players. They could catch her heart quicker than they could catch a Quaffle.

Still, they shouldn't really put windows in locker rooms.

"Malfoy," Harry coldly whispered, pronouncing each syllable with an aria of lust. He fell into Draco's gray depths slowly, falling into the gray sea of his stormy eyes. Lavender felt her chest tightening at the sight of Harry's glistening six packs, which he stuck out proudly towards Draco. Draco return the gaze into Harry's emerald eyes affectionately, breathing rapidly with his heart in his mouth. Their chests sparkled proudly, and left Lavender drooling on the windowpane for everything from their bashful, lustful glances to their dewy naked abs.

"Potter," Draco reciprocated nonchalantly, brushing his platinum blond bangs from his silvery eyes. They kept their arms together for that moment, heating the entire room with a bizarre sin as Lavender's mouth watered.

Harry pushed him away, rejecting him. Draco did the same, but only she knew how strong their love existed.

Draco tried to hide his man nipples with his finger, but Lavender, flustered, though, '_Oh poor Draco! You don't have to hide who you are…_' Draco caressed Harry's ruffly black hair and took his glasses from him. Lavender's heart jumped rapidly like her bouncy dark blond curls. And her brown eyes opened widely. She licked her chapped lips with a wicked passion and stroked the foggy window softly, allowing only a disturbing _squeak!_ to escape.

She was incredibly turned on. And something kept her body warm, not only her naturally escalating body temperature.

Something beyond magic.

Outside, it froze. But inside the boys' locker room, a fiery heat ripped, like the evil zeal of a pack of lions tearing an innocent gazelle down. Her heart sang, it sang to the raw emotion breaking out from Draco's emotionless face. It saw the fury and fire spitting from Harry's cold green eyes. It saw _true love_.

Or so it seemed to Lavender, who often held a silly knack for melodrama and misconceiving events.

In _reality_…

Here's what happened.

Draco marched out of the shower, pissed. Pissed because they lost, and he really wanted to impress Hermione Granger. Pissed because the showers ran out of soap. But most of all, pissed because he had lost all his clothes except for his Quidditch robes, standing there barely covered with a Hogwarts towel. His platinum hair dripped with foamy soap and contempt, drops of water contemptuously bombarding the ground, directed by Draco's anger. And then came Harry, smug and arrogant, his chest stuck out, proud, after boosting the morale of his teammates. The blonde boy marched away angrily, but by an intense, unintentional bump, he grazed Harry's chest by accident, and they stood there for a few seconds, too awkward to break the tension.

"You watch where you're going. _Malfoy_," Harry spat, pushing Draco away.

"YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, POTTER." The Slytherin hugged his own chest, freezing from a lack of garments, though awkwardly touching his own mammary glands. He felt angry, and needed to intimidate somebody. After pulling Harry's head, he grabbed Harry's glasses almost instantaneously and pressed it on his own face, mocking Harry childishly.

"Oh look at me, I'm Harry Potter. I am the boy who LIVED," he shouted obnoxiously, though blind in Harry's glasses. He glanced out the open window, and could have sworn that he saw a curly haired girl pressing her nose to the window.

"Hermione?" Draco gushed, stupidly staring off at the window searching for the resemblance to his crush. Lavender ducked, letting out a morbid gasp. Harry pulled on his regular robe and faded trousers. He snorted.

"Oh, gross, you like my best friend. You know what you should do? Ask her, ask her to the Yule Ball," Harry nudged, throwing Draco a pair of shorts. Draco caught it, and graciously wore it.

"Me? Me ask her? She's too good to be true. Besides, she's already seeing McLaggen…" Draco sighed.

"McLaggen is a _jerk._ He looks more in the mirror than he looks at _her. _God. This is the first time I hear you not obsessing over your own drawn-on six packs and talking considerately about somebody else."

"Eh…It's a little hot in here. Do you think the heater's broken?" Draco felt sweat cover his whole body, though the winter air was far from diminished.

"You know what?" Harry asked, feeling sympathetic for Draco, "You can have some of my Felix Felicis I got from Slughorn. Take it, I promise you it'll work. Go on, go on." Harry waved the bottle of golden liquid in front of Draco. The platinum blond grabbed the vial greedily. Harry smirked and waved him off, carrying his Quidditch uniform in a large sports bag.

***

"It's weird to think that we're having another Yule Ball, huh? I can't go though, I don't have a date. Besides, have to study for the N.E.W.T.'s," Hermione sighed, perusing through the thick, brown contents of her Arithmancy book. Surrounding her were bored classmates, Lavender Brown and Ron. They fancied themselves to annoying her, and she joined their conversation reluctantly.

"I thought you were dating McLaggen," Lavender grumbled, swishing her purple curling iron around. Three days after she started her Cormac McLaggen fan club, Hermione had asked him out to Slughorn's party. Her posse gave Hermione dirty glances, but soon forgave her after she refused to kiss him, assuming that she was letting him go for one of them.

"McLaggen is a PIG. You know, at Slughorn's party, I thought that after he ate the whole cart of food, he was going to eat me too when he leaned in to kiss me! Anyway, that's over. You know, I actually kind of have my eye on Malfoy. He was really sweet to me once when it was raining one day. He gave me his umbrella and let the rain fall fall fall on him," Hermione giggled in a very un-Hermione-like way. She twirled her curly hair and pinched her own cheeks. Lavender and Ron stared.

"An umbrella is not enough to base a relationship on," Ron scoffed jealously. He threw a chip of wood into the fire and waved his wand around, pretending to practice magic with red tinsel at the tip of his wand. Christmas was coming, yet their cool apathy did not wash itself and release a warm excitement. Everything felt fuzzy and _boring_ as they lied on their backs in the Gryffindor common room.

"Oh, you just jealous," Lavender mocked, sticking her tongue out at him. She daintily wrapped the hair curler around her locks and let a soft buzzing sound fill the apathy in the room.

"Am not!" Ron's face went red.

"Besides, Draco fancies somebody else. I saw it, with my own eyes," Lavender yelled, hoping it would convince Ron. Hermione rolled her eyes. Lavender always saw things, but they never turned out to be true.

"No, you've got to believe me! I saw it, with my own eyes, dude, oh my God, I_ saw _him. I SAW HIM. AND HE WAS BEAUTIFUL WITH HIM," Lavender screamed, flailing her hair iron around. Ron cringed.

"Him?" Ron inquired, waggling his eyebrow.

"Harry effing Potter. The boy who lived. With Draco. They really complement each other, ya know? Draco's kinda closed off and Harry's pretty outgoing. But you know what's the raunchiest part of this whole thing? They're both aggressive and manly. I did not see this coming." The blonde's eyes sparkled as she hugged the cylindrical purple object in her hand. She felt it warming her, though the heat leaving an unpleasant burn mark. She shrieked and turned it off.

"And you saw this, where?" Hermione incredulously stated.

"I was peeping outside the boy's locker room…"

"Classy, Lavender," Ron glared. He felt the burn from her iron slap him across the face, as he faced her screaming, his blue eyes passionately moving.

"Anyway, before I was rudely interrupted by Ass Face over here…I was standing outside the locker room, and I saw both of them HALF NAKED, okay? And they were hugging each other. Harry looked into his eyes and Draco looked into Harry's eyes, and they stood there, unbeknownst of a sympathetic stranger, moi. They sparkled like—"

"Oh cheese and crackers…" Ron interrupted rudely. Hermione chuckled lightly, returning to her Arithmancy book. Lavender summoned a bag of chips and began nibbling on cheese puffs as she explained the rest of the story. Ron grabbed a few, only to be crushed awfully by Lavender's manly hands.

"EDWARD. And you can't have my chips. Okay fine, if you don't want to know the juicy details," Lavender said loftily, with a cheese puff in her hand. She wiped the bits of cheesy crumbs on her fingers on Ron, whose face turned sour, as if he had drank an entire pitcher of sugarfree lemonade. An entire bag of cheese puffs crashed onto the ground, and Lavender and Ron refused to look at one another for the rest of the day over a bag of loaded carbohydrates.

"Life is weird," Hermione thought from beneath her book.

***

Draco tasted the disgusting, sour, bitter liquid trickle down his throat, its viscosity thicker than honey. It did not work. Everything seemed to have gone worse since the golden liquid hit Draco's lips. Confident as he was, everything was going to go wrong that day. He had a lover's intuition about the whole situation, and felt an impending doom, strapping him to a wooden plank, executing that pendulum, with its blades of sharp steel, slowly trickle down his body.

"Hermione?" He found her outside, slowly meandering towards a fountain. She dumbfounded him. In only a schoolgirl uniform, she was perfect on paper. Her shoddy knee-highs accentuated her curvaceous, yet thin, legs, and her hair, brown and curly like little brown ribbons on a birthday present. He walked up to her, chest puffed, his tail between his legs, and his pride perilously on the line. He might as well wear a fedora and hold a gun with his chest trapped to a time bomb.

"Mal—Draco! It's nice to see you. You're looking…spiffy," she responded, raising an eyebrow at his uppity posture. He did not flatter Hermione. In fact, she nothinged him, though occasionally found him an endearing person. The brunette sensed the jumpy crush of a schoolboy pollute the air, and gave her time to him out of pity. She smiled warmly and gave him a doe-eyed look. He ruffled his hair and winked.

"Why, thank you, young lady," Draco said, pulling his arms towards her, and kneeling to her knees. She did not understand.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'd like to ask you," Draco paused, "to the Yule Ball." He kneeled one knee on the ground, hoping Hermione would accept his hand. After five seconds, he looked up, and saw her contemplating upon the speck of dirt on the ground. He did feel somewhat successful when he saw her face tint slightly red.

Hermione blushed. But then she remembered what Lavender told her the other day, and she stopped in her tracks. "Wait."

"Wait?" Draco repeated.

"You're with someone else. I can't do that. You're with my best friend. I don't want to be your mistress…you two-timing JERK," Hermione claimed arrogantly. She threw a discarded library book on his head and watched him suffer in pain before turning her back on him.

"W—what?! With who?"

"Why, Harry, of course!" Hermione replied, looking back at him, her brown doe-eyes lighting up. He looked into desperately, confused, his mind jumping and trying to make sense of the four words she had just let slip through her perfectly chiseled mouth. Draco dropped the vial to the ground, hoping that it would explain to him what Hermione just said.

"AND YOU'VE JUST BEEN HARRY'D!!" Harry screamed, jumping out from behind Draco, dressed in a tight leather pants and dress shirt. "I JUST GAVE YOU COW PISS WITH INVISBLE GLUE TO DRINK."

"She thinks I'm with you!" Draco exclaimed, not sure, what he was more shocked about.

"WHAT?" Harry's jaw dropped this time, and it wasn't because of his chafing leather pants.

"Hope you two have a nice life together," Hermione blessed, without turning her back to see the awe expressions on their faces.

**The End.**

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**A/N: Please read and review, thank you lotsie! Looking back at my writing, I now know that I should not have rushed through my writing yesterday, LOL. But here's to celebrating one of the last time I'll ever write for fun again! Like Ampy says, spread the love~**

**And I'd like to publically thank Ampy and Cindy, From Spark to Flame and Miss Mary Sue, respectively, for encouraging me to write out in my last hours of impending doom. Here's a toast to them, and I hope they stay the same throughout the year (happy).  
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